How to Empty Nest

Written by: Hans & Steve Wydler

There’s No One Right Answer - But There Are Smart Ways to Think About It.

In a previous article, we shared downsizing tips for empty nesters and how to prepare for that transition. One of the most common questions our clients ask once the kids leave home is simple but profound: “What should we do now?” 

After more than two decades helping clients navigate this phase of life, we can tell you there is no single correct answer. The right choice depends on lifestyle, finances, family dynamics, and what you want the next phase of life to look like.        

Before reviewing the options, it may be helpful to revisit some principles included in our article “The 11 Things Your Realtor Won’t Tell You (But Should)”.  In the article we discuss balancing housing with financial comfort and thinking long-term when making real estate decisions.

The 10 Options at a Glance

Here is a summary of the most common empty-nest paths we see. We’ll explore each in detail below and then evaluate them all side-by-side in the matrix at the end of this article.

• Stay in Place – Do Nothing
• Stay in Place – Renovate
• Downsize Locally – Move “Closer In
• Downsize Locally – Move “Farther Out”
• Relocate to a New City
• Build a Smaller, Efficient Home
• Build a Larger “Gathering” Home
• Rent Before Deciding
• Keep Your Home + Add a Pied-à-Terre
• Age in Place + Add a Suite or ADU

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The Options in Detail

Option 1: Stay in Place – Do Nothing

For many homeowners, the simplest solution is the best one. After decades in the home, it’s familiar, comfortable, and located near friends, routines, and community anchors.

Pros: No disruption to daily life. Avoid moving costs and transaction expenses. Maintain proximity to friends, community, and routines. Keeps space available for visiting children and guests.

Cons: Larger homes can feel underutilized. Ongoing maintenance and expenses. Stairs or layout may not age well over time.

For many people, this option works perfectly well for a number of years before reassessing later.

Option 2: Stay in Place – Renovate

Some homeowners love their location but want a home that better fits the next phase of life. That might mean creating a main-level primary suite, modernizing the home, or simplifying the layout.

Pros: Keep the location you love. Tailor the home for aging-in-place. Improve comfort and livability.

Cons: Renovations can be expensive and disruptive. Not every house lends itself to the desired changes. You still maintain the same property footprint.

Option 3: Downsize Locally – Move “Closer In”

Many empty nesters sell their existing home and buy something closer to town centers, restaurants, and walkable amenities. This often means moving from a larger house to a townhome, smaller house, or condo.

Pros: Less home to maintain. Often a more walkable lifestyle. Closer to cultural and social amenities. Potentially unlock home equity, though moving ‘closer in’ to a hot or trendy area often ends up being a lateral move financially, or more expensive than expected.

Cons: Smaller living space. Guest accommodations may be limited. HOA or condo fees may apply.

Option 4: Downsize Locally – Move “Farther Out’

Another approach is moving to a more relaxed or rural setting, often gaining simplicity while keeping space.

Pros: Potentially lower housing costs. More land and privacy. Slower pace of life.

Cons: Further from social and community anchors. Longer drives for activities and healthcare. May feel isolated over time.

Option 5: Relocate to a New City

Some empty nesters decide it’s the perfect moment for a clean slate. We’ve seen clients move to places like Asheville, Sarasota, Charleston, or mountain towns that offer lifestyle advantages.

Pros: Lifestyle change and new experiences. Potentially lower cost of living. Climate or recreation advantages.

Cons: Distance from long-established community. Rebuilding social networks. Being further from children if they remain nearby.

Option 6: Build a Smaller, Efficient Home

Some clients build smaller, efficient homes designed for simplicity – custom-designed for this phase of life with low-maintenance materials, single-level layouts, and thoughtful aging-in-place features.

Pros: Designed specifically for your lifestyle. Modern layout and low maintenance. Opportunity to plan long-term aging considerations.

Cons: Construction timelines and complexity. Potentially higher cost than expected. Requires patience and many decisions.

Option 7: Build a Larger “Gathering” Home

Others build larger gathering homes specifically intended to attract children, grandchildren, and friends for visits – a home that becomes the family’s gathering place.

Pros: Creates a destination for family. Custom-designed for entertaining and hosting. Long-term investment in family connection.

Cons: Higher cost to build and maintain. Larger footprint works against simplicity goals. Significant time investment to plan and build.

Option 8: Rent Before Deciding

A thoughtful approach is renting in an area you think you might like before committing to a purchase. This can help answer the important lifestyle question: “Do we actually like living here?”

Pros: Maximum flexibility. Opportunity to test a neighborhood or lifestyle. Avoid rushing into a purchase decision.

Cons: Less financial upside than ownership. Can feel temporary or unsettled for some people.

Option 9: Keep Your Home + Add a Pied-à-Terre

Some empty nesters – particularly those who relocate to a new city – choose to keep a small condo or apartment locally as a base for visiting family, friends, and the region they know.

Pros: Maintains connection to the local community. Provides flexibility between two locations. Allows for gradual transition.

Cons: Dual carrying costs can be significant. More complex to manage two properties. Requires careful financial planning.

Option 10: Age in Place + Add a Suite or ADU

Another option gaining popularity is staying in the existing home but adding a dedicated main-level suite or an accessory dwelling unit (ADU) to better prepare for aging-in-place on your own terms.

Pros: Remain in a familiar home and community. Purpose-built for long-term accessibility. ADU can generate rental income or house a caregiver.

Cons: Construction cost and complexity. Permitting and zoning may limit options. Still requires ongoing maintenance of a larger property.

Questions to Help You Evaluate the Options

Before choosing a path, we recommend that our clients work through the following questions. There are no right or wrong answers – but the patterns in your responses will often point clearly toward one or two options.

Lifestyle Questions

How important is walkability and access to restaurants, culture, and amenities?

How much do you value privacy, land, and outdoor space?

Do you want a slower pace of life or more urban energy?

How often do you expect to host children, grandchildren, or guests?

How important is the ability to “lock and leave” for travel?

Financial Questions

How much equity do you have in your current home, and are you comfortable leaving it tied up in real estate?

What are the total carrying costs of your current home – taxes, maintenance, utilities – and are they sustainable in retirement?

Are you looking to reduce housing expenses, maintain them, or invest more in a different kind of home?

Have you accounted for transaction costs, capital gains considerations, and moving expenses?

Community and Family Questions

How strong is your current community connection - friends, clubs, religious organizations, routines?

How close do your children live, and how much does proximity to them matter?

Are you open to rebuilding a social network in a new place, or is that unappealing?

Do you want your home to serve as the family gathering place for years to come?

Long-Term Planning Questions

How are you thinking about aging-in-place - single-level living, accessibility, proximity to healthcare?

Does your current home’s layout and configuration work well for you as you age?

Are you making a decision for the next five years, or the next twenty?

What would make you want to move again in ten years - and can you plan around that now?

The Decision Matrix: Comparing All 10 Options

The matrix below evaluates each option across eight key factors our clients consistently care about. Use it as a starting point for conversation, not a definitive scorecard - your priorities will determine which option scores best for you.

Legend

Note: Ratings reflect general tendencies and typical outcomes, not universal rules. Every situation is unique, and a conversation with an experienced advisor - in real estate, financial planning, or both - can help translate these factors into a personalized recommendation.

Final Thoughts

The empty nest phase is not simply about downsizing.

It is about repositioning your home to support the next chapter of your life. For some people, that means simplifying. For others, it means relocating or building something new. And for many, it simply means appreciating the home they already love.

The key is understanding the options, asking the right questions, and making a decision intentionally rather than by default.

If you’re thinking about how to approach this stage of life, we’re always happy to share what we’ve learned from helping hundreds of clients navigate it.

Hans and Steve Wydler (the “Wydler Brothers”) are associate brokers and luxury real estate agents with Compass serving the D.C. Metro area, Maryland suburbs, and Northern Virginia real estate markets